Monday, September 24, 2012

Joke Extra: Part One

FATHER AND SON

Son: Dad, today's my girlfriend's birthday, what present shld I give her?
Dad: how does she look?
Son: gorgeous, charming, sexy and .........
Dad: give her M¥ number.

AKPOS AND THE CHEMIST

Akpors Goes Into A Chemist, Reaches Into His Pocket And Takes Out A Small Bottle And a Teaspoon. He Pours Some Liquid Into The Teaspoon And Offers It To The Chemists Assistant.

Akpors: "Could You Taste This, Please? The Chemists Assistant Takes The Teaspoon, Puts It
In His Mouth, Swirls The Liquid Around and Swallows It.

Akpors: Does It Taste Sweet?

Chemist Assistant: No, Not at All

Akpors: "Good," The Doctor Told Me To Come Here And Get M¥ Urine Tested For Sugar (The Chemist Assistant fainted).

AKPOS AND THE LIBERIAN

Akpos went to return a book at the library. He banged the book at the counter n shouted "I read this una nonsense novel na so so numbers n pple names full am, no single story" the librarian looked up n responded "..mpshewwww....so na u take our phone directory wey we dey look for since abi?

MAMA AKPORS IN COURT:-

In a court trial, a lawyer called his first witness who happens to be an elderly grandmother, to the stand. He went to her and asked, "Mama Akpors, do u know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know u Mr Pollus. I've known u since u were a young boy, and to be frank, u hv been a big disappointment to ur parents and to the society. U are a liar, u cheat ppl including ur wife, and u manipulate ppl and talk about them behind their backs. U think u are a big man when u dnt even hv brains. Yes, I know
you!"

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mama Akpors, do u know the defence lawyer?"

She replied, "yes, I do. I hv known Mr Gideon since he was a young boy too. He has been ur very good friend since childhood bcos the two of u hv the same character. He has also been a very lazy man and he has a drinking problem. Infact he is a criminal and he can't even build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with 3 different women, one of them was ur wife. Yes, I know him.

The defence lawyer almost fainted. The Judge called both lawyers to his table and in a very quiet voice, said, "If any of u idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll make sure u loose ur license!

WHO IS THE WISEST

* Pls who is d most foolish among dis 3 men?

• A Yoruba man who watered his farm garden in the rain!

An Igbo man who saw a ripe mango, climbed d
mango tree 2 confirm dat d mango is ripe, den
came down 2 used a stone 2 pluck d mango!!

• A Hausa man who saw shit on d floor, touch it
with his finger and tested it and said "Hmmmm.

Na shit Ooo. Walahi, thank God say I no match
am"!!!

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